Can’t keep up with the sexual demands of your partner? Vasenta Selvanayagam reveals the 101s on finding out if you’re in a relationship with a sex addict.
The truth is that sexual addiction is a serious problem that most of us are unaware of. It can happen to both male and female and is an issue that people are still embarrassed to address properly. We had a chance to speak to Dr Yeo Pei Li, Licensed Professional Counsellor from Rekindle Centre for Systematic Therapy about the problem and here are some things you need to know about sexual addiction.
What is sexual addiction?
“Just like other addictions that are cultivated to feel good, sexual addiction is when someone becomes compulsive about sex. The person suffers from withdrawals and feels desperate to have his sexual fix no matter what the consequences are.” sais Dr Yeo.
Some of the common traits of sex addiction are compulsive masturbation, compulsive use of pornography, constant fantasies, multiple affairs, and voyeurism.
Signs that he is a sex addict…
1. All he talks and thinks about is sex.
2. His only goal in life is to have sex. If he isn’t having sex, then he needs to either be watching pornography or masturbation to get high.
3. He suffers from depression, restlessness, and anxiety when he isn’t having sex.
4. He gets emotionally attached extremely fast.
5. His biggest fear is abandonment and loneliness, but at the same time, he is also scared of being committed in a relationship.
6. Has no shame or fear to have sex anywhere and anytime as long as his ‘cravings’ are satisfied.
What should you do?
Help yourself by going for counseling as you can be in shock or disbelief, confused and even disgusted. Also, make a decision if this relationship is worth fighting for.
Encourage your partner to seek professional help. Remember that this is NOT your fault!
Go for couple counseling so both of you can be accountable for each other. Learn how to have an open communication and be supportive during recovery.
Taken from the print edition.