For many, girl-boy friendship may sound ideal – perfect when you need a shoulder to cry on. But it’s not really as simple as it seems. There’s a thin, blurry line that can easily be crossed, which can ultimately make or break the relationship. If it doesn’t work out, you’d be lucky enough to stay friends – think Jess and Nick (from New Girl) – otherwise, you could be saying goodbye to the friendship forever.
According to dating expert Chiara Atik, author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide in an interview with Glamour, time is of the essence in terms of establishing whether your relationship will be platonic or romantic. Shy people prefer to take it slow, even if the attraction is instant, but this is exactly how you can get stuck in the Friend Zone: by waiting too long!
Don’t know what’s going on in your relationship? Think there might be a chance to become more than just buddies? Here are things to consider before moving on from friends to lovers.
1. Decide what you really want
You need to have more than just a feeling to validate whether or not you can move out of the Friend Zone. Make sure you’re really in love and don’t just want to be together because you’re feeling vulnerable or gripped by the sense of familiarity.
2. Define The Relationship
How does your friend see you? Do you bicker like siblings or does he often vent about his life to you? Make sure he sees you as more than just an on-call therapist or a sister – the dynamics between the two of you need to change before you make any move.
3. Flirt A Little
Discreetly get out of the ‘zone’ by being warmer towards him as opposed to goofing around like you usually do. Try hinting at how you enjoy hanging out and how you look forward to spending time together.
4. Is The Timing Right?
Although it may seem like an issue between just the both of you, it really is not. If he’s dating someone, it’d be unfair to sabotage his relationship. And if you’re in one too, you need to decide if it’s worth hurting your current squeeze.
5. Confess Your Feelings
Plan on a time and place where you can be alone. Don’t just blurt it out in the middle of a conversation or scare him off with the ‘L’ word (that’s love, mind you), right off the bat. Keep your tone upbeat; if you act like it’s something bad, he might think it’s a bad thing.
Taken from print. Text by Sarah Hani Jamil.