Not quite sure what to expect when you sleep with a guy for the first time? We challenge you to five questions you should be asking to get a hint of what he is like in bed.
We admit, not everyone enjoys surprises. But like all other things, it’s possible for you to get a hint of what his personality is like, and what he’ll be like in bed if you ask him the right questions and by observing him well. Here’s a heads-up: don’t be shy or feel scared that you’re going to offend him by asking him if he’s been tested before. It’s not rude but just a good way to be safe, especially if he has been sexually active before.
His recent sexual fantasy
Sharing your sexual fantasy with your partner is good as it helps you understand each other better. Sexologist, Cognitive-Behavioural Therapist, Sex Researcher & Educator and Author Catriona Boffard explains that by sharing their sexual fantasies, the couple gets to explore boundaries outside their comfort zone, and it will allow a couple to understand each other’s needs physically, mentally and emotionally. It doesn’t have to be ‘wild’ but for sure, you’ll be able to understand his sexual needs.
How often he works out
Many of us can’t resist looking at hot guys, especially the ones who have muscular biceps. Well, it seems that as good as they look they’re also equally good in bed! A study conducted at Florida Atlantic University in 2008 reports that working out helps improve a guy’s sexual function and he tends to have better orgasms. By asking him this question, you’ll be able to make a vague guess as to how he is going to be on your first night.
What does sex mean to you?
This question is important as you’ll know for sure if both of you share the same values. “Two months ago, I went on a Tinder date and Will* and I decided to take things to the next level. I’m a person who believes that you only have sex when you’re committed to someone, but to my surprise, Will felt it is something he should have with every girl he dates to see if they’re as competent as he is! “LOSER! No harm done, I’ve learnt moved on,” says Pamela*, a research assistant at a local hospital.
Quality vs quantity
This simple question will help you figure out if the journey to reaching your climax matters or if he just wants to know how many times you can orgasm in one night. Of course, it isn’t important if you’re just into it to have fun, but if you’re wanting to know him more intimately, then the ‘quality’ will be more important and he will more likely be a li’l more creative so that both of you feel comfortable.
To find out if he has this quality all you need to do is observe how long his attention span lasts. An easy way to do this will be to tell him a long story (something that lasts more than 15 minutes) and see if he is itching to change topics or still focusing on your story. According to Dr Pam Spurr, sex expert columnist from The Sun UK, guys who can stay focused and don’t drift from the conversation topic are the ones who will not get bored fast and will be able to focus longer, plus, take into account what you like and dislike in the bedroom.