For some of us, even saying the word sex can be awkward (yes, I’m totally one of those people!). Sex is a beautiful thing but there’s also no denying that at times it can be quite scary too. So if you thought you were the only one with sex fears, think again! You’re not alone in the slightest. Yet unresolved anxieties in the bedroom can be a hard topic for most of us to talk about.
We asked a few Malaysian women to find out what were some of their biggest fears and gathered some feedback from a survey by SuperDrug, one of UK’s most recognised pharmacies, where 2000 American and European men and women revealed some of their biggest sex fears. Together, here are five of the most common fears women have in the bedroom and what to do about them, according to Dr Martha Tara Lee from the Singapore sex counselling centre Eros Coaching!
1. Low body confidence
How many of you are ‘lights off, covers up’ ladies? You’re not alone. I’m sure there’s plenty of official data reaffirming this, but even a quick survey amongst your friends would tell you that many women aren’t happy with their body images. I asked five of my girlfriends if they were fully satisfied with their bodies and were happy with allowing their partners to see them undressed. Four said no — belly flab, cellulite, arm fat and double chins apparently get in the way of body confidence.
There’s a simple solution: confidence starts with you. You’ll never believe that your partner will accept you until you accept yourself first. Dr Martha proposes developing self-confidence by doing some simple physical and breathing exercises to regulate your hormones and to re-energise your body cells, eating clean, putting in a li’l more effort in terms of dressing up and even telling yourself how much you love you (say it in the mirror, if you must! We won’t think you’re crazy). Once you feel good inside, you’ll start to see it too! She also advises it’s best to get to know your own body first by testing your senses. For example, get a massage and figure out which are the areas you like to be touched best. Additionally, you can also observe yourself in the mirror and pick out the body parts you like best and concentrate on these parts during sex.