3 Malaysian Women Talk About Being With Younger Guys

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2. Jessica Lim, 32, Special Needs Teacher

Boyfriend Wesley Lim is four years younger

Jessica and her boyfriend have been together for three years now. They met at their previous workplace where she was one of his supervisors. Until today, Jessica’s parents believe that she should be with an older man in order for him to be able to provide for her.

EXTERNAL PRESSURE GETS TO YOU  

“My boyfriend and I used to take into account what our family and friends had to say about our age gap. My friends were concerned as they assumed someone younger would not be able to protect me or deal with my strong-willed personality. On the other hand, his male friends would pass remarks how older women are going to look older or how women shouldn’t be the ones wearing the pants in the house. All this started to affect our relationship a li’l but in the end, we decided that it’s our life and we shouldn’t allow anyone else to dictate or influence our decision.”

WHEN VANITY COMES KNOCKING  

“It took me awhile but I’ve slowly learnt to let go of my long-running concern that I may look older than him! On the flip side that worry has made me take better care of my health and looks.”

WHAT MATTERS?

“After three years with a man four years younger than me, I’ve learnt that age doesn’t matter. A relationship that works entails many criteria: hard work, tolerance, acceptance, courage, support and patience, to name a few. At the end of the day, it’s the experience and mindset that counts. Sure, the stigma and taboo surrounding women with younger men exist, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take the appropriate steps to overcome it.”

CHOOSE THE PERSON OVER AGE

“Initially I did have reservations when I was still getting to know Wesley but soon, I started to wonder do I like the person or his age? I know what it’s like to be with someone older too, and now that my boyfriend is younger, I realise that I have all the freedom to grow as a person. He accepts me fully and respects all my thoughts, feelings and frustrations. And for the first time in my life, I truly understand what unconditional love means.”

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